


I'm No Good

by Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire



Series: Explicit Fem!SnowBaz [3]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Alternate Universe - Wolves, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Choices, Confessions, Dark Fairy Tale Elements, Dramatic Simon Snow, F/F, Falling In Love, Fate & Destiny, FemSnowBaz, Full Moon, Gift Fic, Gothic, Holding Hands, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Oaths & Vows, POV First Person, POV Simon Snow, Prompt Fic, Protective Simon Snow, Protective Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Rule 63, Sexual Fantasy, Simon Snow Loves Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Touching, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow in Love, Witch Tyrannus Basilton ”Baz” Pitch, Witch!Baz, Witchcraft, Witches, Wolf Simon Snow, Wolf!Simone, Wolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:27:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28010136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire/pseuds/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire
Summary: [Explicit] 18+ fem Simon and fem Baz.Fairy tale setting, a bit dark and gothic.A wolf stumbles onto a human during a full moon.Part 4 inYou are my choiceSeries.COC 2020 Day 25, DEC 19: Parallel universe.FemSnowBaz.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Explicit Fem!SnowBaz [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027891
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	I'm No Good

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/gifts), [Theawkwardbibliophile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theawkwardbibliophile/gifts), [shushu_yaoi_lj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shushu_yaoi_lj/gifts).



> Dear reader, I hope you will enjoy this short fic in **[You are my choice](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2062071) Series**. 💙  
>   
> It's Alternative Universe - Fairy Tale Setting.  
>   
> I would not necessarily call it an actual Gothic Fairy Tale, but it has a gothic vibe.  
>   
>  **Blue, Jan, Llamapyjamas** , this is for you. 🥺🥺🥺 I don't say this often enough. You are amazing friends. 💙✨💙✨💙  
>   
> Big thanks to the loveliest [BelaLugosi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelaLugosi) for beta and all the help with this story. 💙☠️🖤☠️💙
> 
> * * *

# SIMONE

It's a full moon tonight, hypnotizing and possessive. And yet I only have eyes for her.

” _Baz_ ,” she whispers into the darkness. ”My name is Baz.”

The storm is picking up and, if I don't bring her with me, she’ll be dead by nightfall. I should not care whether she lives or dies — I am a monster, after all. I care anyway.

With a sense of hesitation that I am no longer accustomed to, I nudge her carefully with my head and nod at her.

There's a smile on her lips, barely there, when she follows me though her instincts should scream at her to run, try to escape and hide.

Baz. Her name is Baz.

I don't change into my other form, the one that resembles a human; I want her to see the danger in me.

* * *

My cottage is remote, in the middle of nowhere. She’s all alone with a monster on a full moon. My thirst is greater than ever.

Her eyes — grey, bright, and more mesmerising than the moon itself — are calling for me, telling me not to look away.

If I could, I would blush under her gaze.

The fire makes her stark, reddish skin shine roségold. I couldn’t look away, even if I wanted to.

It doesn't help that she’s shed her robe.

Baz is sitting by my table barefoot, wearing nothing but a torn, ratty black dress that reveals more skin than I can handle.

 _Her breasts must be larger than mine_ , I think to myself and shake my head.

_Simone, stop being so lecherous._

I wonder if her eyes can see the true darkness of my soul, the burning desire and want rising towards her.

Would she be repulsed by it, if she could?

Baz is a mystery to me. I don't know who she is or where she comes from. Nevertheless, I don't have to be a psychic to know that I'm not who she seeks and will never be.

No doubt she’d despise me if she knew my wicked thoughts.

Regardless, Baz should fear me. Everyone does.

 _Why are you still here?_ I wonder to myself. _Why have you not left with the morning light?_

Her slender fingers slide over the teacup as if it were the greatest treasure. The tips of those fingers are stained dark and covered in tea leaves.

She's been drinking tea and prodding at the leaves all morning.

”This is it,” she murmurs into the cup. ”Lovelier than I’d imagined.”

I don't know what she means, and, since I haven't shifted back since I found her, I can't ask.

Before, I had refused to return to my human form for _her_ benefit — an attempt to chase her away. Now, I remain unchanged for my own benefit.

I've been uneasy, worried about my thoughts regarding her. They are new, and unwanted by both of us, I'm certain.

When her eyes find me again, they are focused on mine, _too_ _focused_.

There's no terror in them, however, only innocent amazement.

She looks upon me as though I am someone worthy of wonder, as if I’m not a dreadful nightmare — my existence a curse on everyone’s lips.

_How are you this brave?_

Baz smiles at me then, and there's nothing hesitant or restrained about it. She smiles as if I were a girl standing next to her.

Just a girl. I'm not. I will never be.

I let out a growl, in an effort to remind her of what I am.

The sound only causes her to smile wider, her face opening up completely. I can see it in her eyes — old darkness and pain. And a few secrets of her own.

 _You're not fearless_ , I finally realise. _You’ve just seen greater monsters._

Lucifer hadn’t been kind to this soul. And it hasn't gotten any better, has it?

Alone and on the run, stumbling into me — a monster on a good day, a killer on a bad one. Baz should be terrified — but she isn’t...

Whoever she is, she’s no match for me, even when I look like a human.

I’ve been this _thing_ for too long. I am not even sure what ‘human’ is supposed to mean. I am never going to be one.

 _I'm no good for you_ , I think. _I'm no good for anyone._

And yet, I can't stop thinking about her, can’t let her _be_.

Baz.

* * *

Winter has been and gone. Spring has shown us the first sliver of light.

She’s still here.

I think I want her to stay, though I keep lying to myself, saying that I do not. I should know better, I've always been a bad liar.

When I shift we spend time in the meadow, lying on the grass next to each other. She is never frightened of me when I'm a wolf. Her heartbeat is slow and even and its beating lulls me to sleep, giving me dreams full of joy and _her_.

Baz touches me often, her fingers gliding through my fur. It is pleasant.

One day she does it again when I am me, the other me, the one more dangerous yet. Her hand brushes lightly over mine. I flinch at the touch as if she were poison ivy.

“I’m sorry, Simone,” she whispers and I want to tear someone’s throat out at the gentleness of her voice. Preferably my own. I don’t deserve this kind of affection.

“It is not your fault,” I speak through a lump in my throat. “I’ll be back.”

I hurry out of the cottage, shift, and don’t come back for days.

The problem isn’t that I don’t want her to touch me, it’s that I do. I want to do unspeakable things to her, while she’s lying naked on the bed with my lips between her legs, making her wet, making her _mine_.

Afterward, I want to suck a bruise on her neck and _mark_ her as mine.

I am worried about how deep I could fall for her, how I might never find my way back, and how that is possibly the only thing that frightens me in all of this world.

Does this make me a coward?

“Baz, I’m sorry,” I say when I open the door and find her crying by the fire.

“It’s not your fault,” she whispers with a smile on her lips and kindness in her eyes, and I think maybe it doesn’t have to be this frightening.

I want her to stay.

“Shall we have some tea then?” I ask and wonder if that is how people do it — cover up awkward moments with beverages.

“I will make some,” she offers and I come closer, almost touching but not quite.

I feel her breath on my face. The smell of her is intoxicating and I feel it, even though I am the other one now, with weaker senses and fierce anger clouded around me.

“I can make it,” I speak with trepidation as my lips come closer to her ear. “ _Sit_.”

Her cheeks flush scarlet, her heart is beating too fast and I have to swallow my want for her.

* * *

When summer comes to our land, the sun vanishes before her beauty. Moon itself fades in comparison to her eyes.

Her long black hair is messy and wet from the rain, and yet it looks flawless because it is _hers_.

I think everything that belongs to her is flawless.

Will I be good, too, if I become hers?

When she looks into my eyes, I fear that I am there _already_. She has staked a claim to my heart.

I've made my choice, unknowingly, unwillingly, but a choice nonetheless.

_I love you, Baz._

She reaches for my hand and I don't flinch. Instead, my whole being draws near to her, my hand wraps around hers.

”You’re beautiful,” I mumble, unused to uttering those words to anyone.

“I am,” she replies coy and mysterious. She’s not. _Baz_ is complicated, her heart, though, is simple — filled with wonder and love.

Baz is good, but she's also wild like me somewhere deep inside. She understands what it's like to be me, without turning into a beast.

It's been months and Baz hasn't left. I start to hope that she never will.

We’re tangled in the sheets and I watch a beam of moonlight play along her shoulder.

I lean in and kiss it and feel her shiver, a low satisfied moan leaving her lips, and I lose myself in that, in _her_.

”Please stay.” The words fly from my mouth without my permission.

Baz smiles the way that she always does; as though her heart has too much love and she needs to share some with me.

“I’m here for as long as you’ll have me,” her voice is soft and lovely.

“Forever,” I whisper, not sure if I am being brave or foolish.

“ ** _Forever_** ,” she repeats, and it feels like more than a simple promise.

It feels like an unbreakable oath.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 💙


End file.
